You might be asking, “Why do I need to read a blog about guys and sex, especially from some old guy?” Let me answer the “old guy” part of the question first. I originally started writing a handbook for my two young daughters, so when they grew up and got interested in guys, they’d be smart and informed enough to deal skillfully with guys such as I used to be. You see, I was something of a womanizer, a guy who really loved women but caused them a lot of grief and heartache, as I flittered from one to another like a bee invading flowers in search of honey. And, frankly, I was not that unusual. Many guys, in the final analysis, are not good for women. “Why is this?” you might ask. Hopefully this blog will tell you that and a lot more, and prepare you for the world of men and sex.
In your teen years and early twenties, you will explore a new dimension to yourself: your sexuality. While largely undefined and confusing at first, your emerging sexuality will color and affect your relationships with girl friends, guys, and even parents, teachers, and co-workers. You will undoubtedly relate to men in new ways – sexually and in committed emotional relationships. Where previously most of your interactions with men were relatively shallow, you now start to consider crazy ideas such as getting naked and swapping bodily fluids with them. Talk about feeling exposed! Maybe a guy even becomes your new best friend, to the exclusion of your previous best girl friends. You will have new expectations of guys, and they of you. For the most part, these expectations might be radically different and incompatible: women typically seek security and emotional intimacy, while men – especially in teens and early twenties – want to sow their wild oats and snatch as much bootie as possible, without committing to anything.
Yes, lots of new things are coming your way that can knock you off center. Many men will say or do almost anything to get laid, things you probably won’t be expecting. You might get in competition with your best gal friend over a guy. People might talk behind your back about your sexual activities, even if you have not even had any yet. You might have strong sexual urges you don’t know how to handle.
I hope to help you cope skillfully with this new world. The approach is simple. I will share with you my view of useful concepts for navigating life in general and men, sex, romance, and relationships more specifically. JUST BROWSE THE TOPICS ON THE RIGHT SIDE BAR AND CLICK ON THOSE THAT INTEREST YOU.
I invite you to make comments on the site and to contact me via email (firstname.lastname@example.org) with specific questions. I’ll either post them with answers on this site, or send you a personal reply.
If you like what you read here, check out my book (and ebook) of the same title.
Thanks for checking in!